[HeartStrongList] Important Article

[marcadams at heartstrong.org]

Hi everyone...

I am pasting an article about our recent trip to Placerville here.  I
apologize for these articles comign so slowly but you have to pay to get
them off the website for the newspaper so we've had to find alternate ways
to get them.

At any rate, here is the article.  If you haven't already checked out the
photos, an article from one of the counter protesters, and more, you can
do so now at http://www.heartstrong.org and just go to our news page.

As always, feel free to pass this around and your feedback is always
appreciated.  Just sign our guestbook on the front page of the site.

Thanks!
Marc


Gay Author Speaks at Federated Church in Placerville
by Charlotte Sanchez-Rose/ Mountain Democrat


    Marc Adams, founder of HeartStrong, a group to help gay, lesbian,
bisexual and transgendered (GLBT) students deal with religious
schools, will be speaking in Placerville on Sunday, starting at 6:30
p.m. at the Federated Church on Thompson Way.
    Adams grew up as the son of a fundamentalist Baptist minister in rural
Pennsylvania. He said that it is difficult for all preacher's kids and
that being gay added to the burden, including daily Bible readings and
praying at home and school.
    In an email, Adams, who is currently on tour, described his
experiences while growing up.
    "We were additionally forced to memorize gigantic portions of the
Bible (for when the Communists took over the United States and took
away the Bibles)," he said.  "We were taught the New Testament
theology that there was a 'sin unto death' so we live in constant fear
that we would commit this sin (that was not specifically described in
the Bible) and God would kill us.  Growing up in that and being part
of it...my entire life revolved around church, my 'spirituality' and
recruiting other people to my religion, or 'witnessing' as we
disguised it."
    He said that being gay in that environment was particularly difficult.
    "I knew I liked boys when I was 7," he said.  "Just like all the
straight boys in my classes at school had crushes on girls.  At home,
though, there was no appropriate sexuality information provided at any
time at any age.  That is, of course, very challenging for a young
person who is trying to understand himself."
    He said although he was used to being called a sinner, begin gay added
to his low self-esteem.
    "It was, after all, another fundamentalist Baptist minister who told
me as a teenager that all gay people were child molesters and would
get AIDS and die," Adams said.  "Not much of a prospect for a future
for a kid."
    Adams attended Jerry Falwell's Liberty University, trying to find a
way to change his behavior.
    "That was the only reason I went there," he said.  "My parents hated
that I rebelled against them and did not go to a fundamentalist
Baptist Christian college.  Jerry is a neo-evangelical and most true
fundamentalists don't like him."
    During his time there, Adams worked for the yearbook office as a
writer and was also employed by the university for three years in the
student recruiting/university relations office.
    "I had very little interest in heterosexually driven sports so I
didn't really participate in those," he said.  "My interests were in
my studies, music, and writing, so I stuck to those.  Most of my
friends there were in the same areas of study."
    He said while attending, students were not allowed to have televisions
in rooms and couldn't attend movies.
    "I had many friends but I also really liked being by myself writing,"
Adams said.  "I lived in constant fear that someone would discover my
secret and turn me over to the deans and have me expelled as I saw
happen to other students."
    During his tenure at Falwell's university, Adams underwent an ex-gay
process/ reparative therapy intended to change behavior and thought
processes.
    "The first stages can be simple, confidential counseling sessions with
a willing local minister," Adams said.  "If you join an actual support
group it is pretty much the same as any other 12 step program only
with much more religion thrown in."
    He said unless you seek assistance from a religious group which
already believes in the 'gift of healing,' you aren't told that you
will be cured.  You are taught that like with any sin, you have to
learn to fight it every day of your life just like lying or cheating
or stealing.
    "The problem with this process is that the only reason why anyone ever
goes through this is for acceptance," Adams said.  "They (like me)
allow the weird thing in society that demands we have acceptance from
everyone, to breed into them the need for acceptance.  People do this
because they want to be accepted by God, their families, churches and
friends."
    He added, you can change your behavior and thought process.  "Some
brainwashing and guilt and fear can accomplish that," he said. 
"However, what does not change is who you really are.  Which is why
people involved in simulated heterosexual lifestyles lose themselves
as people and individuals.  Although for them, they think it is OK to
lose themselves, because they are only living their lived for who they
think is God."
    "It's a sad, painful and lonely road.  Unfortunately when an exgay
person falls of the wagon, which happens all the time, in the gay
community, we still react inappropriately and attack instead of trying
to reach out."
    Adams said he left at the middle of his senior year because after
going through the ex-gay process he learned that he had been lied to
about everything in his life.
    "I needed to learn how to accept myself as a gay person and also as a
human being," Adams said.  "I couldn't do that while still being a
student at that school."
    He said the reason he is coming to Placerville is because it is one of
the 28 educational forums on a fall outreach trip.
    "We have driven more than 320,000 miles over eight years doing our
work," he said.  "California is the state with the most religious
schools so we are spending a significant amount of time here.  Also, I
am coming to help provide support to the GLBT and allied communities,
which are being attacked by the religious right as they are
everywhere.  Many times it helps strategically to have someone share
their expertise when they used to be a member of the religious right
themselves."
    The Federated Church is located at 1031 Thompson Way in Placerville.